I believe our relationship with our mothers have a great bearing to who we were, who we are and who we are to become. I’m quite certain there are studies about this somewhere. Anyway, I am not here to write about a scientific or medical study. I am here to study my own being-ness.
Pinky, as she’s so affectionately called my many, is my Mama. Life has been a charmed challenge for her – based on all her stories and me witnessing events transpire around and through her. A charmed challenge.
Yesterday, she called me to her bedside and said she wanted to talk. “Forgive me for all of my shortcomings as a mother…” she told me. We continued the conversation (which I choose to keep private) and it was enlightening. There were no tears, just laughter and realizations. For that, I am wholeheartedly filled with gratitude. Mama saw her weaknesses as shortcomings but I choose to think of it as blessed challenges. Without her, and all that happened, I would literally not be where I am today. And I love where I am presently. I really do.
Recently, I took the ID photo of my Mama. Putting things into perspective, you know I love the being if I take an ID photo for that person. Haha, seriously. And to those I love who are reading this, please do not put me in a situation where I will feel obliged to take your identification picture.
A creature once told me that I should just use my camera to take ID photos for a living. “Open up an ID shop near a government office, like the Department of Foreign Affairs, by the road, on the sidewalk.” – the creature said. I was somewhat offended in his perception of the capacity of my abilities. But then, I questioned my dreams. I questioned my work – for a long while, until I was once again gifted with confidence. But let me tell you, the questioning-myself-phase went on for what felt like a century. Grabe. I did learn, however, that when a creature plants doubt in your thoughts, it is only because they are overflowing with doubt about themselves. And they cannot help but to bring others down as well. So I chose to cut the negativity and inject an inappropriate dose of humor into the situation.
I digress, let’s go back to my beautiful Mama. Once, she requested I write her eulogy already because she wants to hear it. I was hesitant, but one time, I was inspired to do so.
When she found out that I had written it already, she asked me to read it to her – torture! Haha! But it turned out to be a therapeutic experience.
After much thought and internal debate – here, let me share with you the eulogy I wrote for my Mama.
Capturer: Ritz Marie